Attention Readers

I started a different blog over on Tumblr.

Check it out here.

Don't judge that I used the same title for it. I like my title.

I'm going to try to maintain both. But, if that's too much work, I will be focusing on the tumblr one. Thank you and have a nice day.

Workplace Injuries

In an effort to combat the numbness taking over my hands (damn you carpal tunnel!!!) I have raised my chair as high as possible.

Now I can't cross my legs under my desk. There's no room. So I'm doing it anyway and just jamming my knees up against my keyboard shelf thing. But now my feet keep falling asleep and my knees hurt.

This is a sign that I need to get on top of this opening my own bakery thing.

I hope you all get a good laugh when I have to start wearing these stupid wrist braces.

Loving It

Making me happy right now:

1. Running skirts. I can't wait to wear all of mine again and actually run outside.
2. Cupcakes. There's just something about a cupcake. Anyone want to go to Baby Cakes this weekend?

3. TIOWL (Trivia Instead of Work League). Something that Joel introduced me to that entertains me for about 15 minutes of my morning every workday. It's great. And I'm beating Joel, that's even better.
4. Guys with scruffy beards and a good dose of sarcastic humor. Not describing any particular person, they're just my weakness.
5. The last song on Britney's new CD. Phonography. It cracks me up every time I hear it. Who doesn't enjoy this lyric: "And I like my bluetooth, buttons comin' loose, I need my hands free, Then I let my mind roam, Playing with my ringtone." Yeah, you love it. Listen here with a silly slideshow.
6. My embarrassing coffee mug. Yeah, I use it daily at work. My coworkers judge me. Thanks, T!

Teen Angst

Twice I have heard The Get Up Kids on the Buzz this past week. Add in the Ultimate Fakebook reunion concert this Thursday and I feel like I'm back in High School.

Don't worry, I'm not going to start decorating my clothing with safety pins or drawing on my shoes.

Here We Go Again

After much searching and frustration I have finally joined a gym. I am convinced that the gym selection in Kansas City is worse than any city I have lived in before. But, after weighing my options I decided on the YMCA.

Believe me, the outside is much prettier than the inside. And the actual name of this YMCA is the "Paul Henson Family YMCA." Yes, the family word is present. I was obviously short on options.

And so the training begins for the Hospital Hill half marathon on June 6th. This is your official warning as I will no doubt be complaining about every single ache and pain that I encounter. 2 hours 15 minutes is my current goal. We'll see if that has to be adjusted due to injury.

Below is a pic from Woodside Racquet club, the gym that I wanted to join. But, I decided to save $3o a month and spend it on a Netflix subscription and alcohol. Besides, I don't need special tasty water and attractive people. I'll take the old folks and screaming children at the YMCA. Damn it.

I Should Send More Packages

Just See It

Saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. It was amazing and I highly recommend it. Even better than I thought it would be.

And please, sit through the credits. Danny Boyle is after my heart.

25 Random Things

C tagged me on this note on Facebook so of course I must respond. I can't resist anything that includes making lists of things. I'm OCD like that.

Here are 25 random things about me:

1. When I was in elementary school I wanted to change my name to Robin.
2. In High School I dyed my hair green. Stupidest. Idea. Ever.
3. My High School boyfriend was Mormon. He is the only Mormon I've dated even though I lived in Utah for 5 years.
4. I have a semi-photographic memory. This helped a lot during my non-studying college years. I can close my eyes and remember how the textbook page looked and the info will come to me. It's weird, but awesome.
5. I have a secret for PostSecret. But, I'm trying to change so it becomes irrelevant and I can throw it away and never send it.
6. I'm an ESTJ.
7. I don't understand the need of people my age to have really nice cars. In fact, I judge your fancy car and prefer my dependable one.
8. I could possibly be the only person in the world that hates the way it smells after a rain shower.
9. My favorite type of pop is Diet Dr. Pepper. But, I don't really drink it anymore. And yes, I say "pop."
10. I hate inspirational quotes and sappiness in general.
11. At one time I had a total of 7 piercings.
12. I can't whistle, tread water or do a cartwheel.
13. I wanted to join the Peace Corps but an overzealous recruiter freaked me out so I didn't. I still regret that decision.
14. I think that the most attractive man in the world is Clive Owen.
15. My sleep is of a much higher quality if done with something covering my head. Usually a pillow, but I've used random items of clothing in a pinch.
16. I would rather have a new book than a new outfit.
17. I can spend hours reading blogs written by strangers.
18. I'm overly competitive. If you write a better "25 random things" list I just might rewrite mine to beat you out.
19. I once had surgery on my knee cartilage. One week after getting off crutches I re-tore it.
20. I am only in contact with one person that I went to High School with.
21. I have never believed in God.
22. My mom is the best cook that I know. I hope to become the best baker that you know.
23. Multiple people have thought that I was a lesbian. I never really understood where this came from. In case you did: I'm not.
24. I can't stop biting my fingernails. I'm 27.
25. Once I got lost in the mountains overnight. I was completely terrified but pretended to laugh it off.

PS. I'd love to know 25 random things about you. Or just one or two.

Joel McHale

If you're not watching The Soup you should be. That is all.

Not So Cold Anymore

I hadn't told many people, but for the last two and a half months I have had a serious issue. My shower had no hot water. I could get the water to be cold instead of ice cold, but that was it.

Every single shower I took was pure torture and I dreaded having to take one. This also delayed my search for a gym to join. If I joined a gym I would have to take even more showers! I also cranked up my water heater in an attempt to get any warmth into my shower experience. It didn't work, but it did affect my stupid gas bill.

But now, my shower is fixed. All is well in the world and I've been taking 40 minute showers. It's glorious.

Moral of the story: Call the damn plumber immediately instead of 2.5 months later.

Never Mind

I attempted to set up a Tumblr Blog and got too frustrated to continue. I don't know html and I don't plan on learning it. So you will continue to see my lovely blog in this space simply because Blogger is idiot proof. Woot.

Small Happiness

I've noticed that there are quite a few small things are making me happy lately. Of course I wanted to share:

1. Shatto Root Beer Milk. I know, this sounds disgusting. But it's amazing. AMAZING. I changed my grocery store to one that doesn't carry Kashi so that I can buy Shatto milk. It was a sacrifice. For you non-KCers, come visit me and I'll get you some Shatto milk. It's magical.

2. Tim Riggins is back. With his arms. zomg

3. Lenka's self-titled CD, specifically song # 8 - Trouble Is A Friend. Listen here. Also, in finding this link for you lovely people I discovered that she is playing at The Record Bar..... tomorrow! Who wants to go? It's cheap!

4. Tumblr blogs. Yeah, I made fun of them for being all hipsterlike. But then I explored the site more. You can Google Map in and see the blogs in your area. Ahhh, new addiction.

5. Lost is back. Why do you tease with your mysteries? I can't quit you.

6. Almost done doing coupage on Bella. Coupage makes my costochondritis issue hurt like hell. And by "hurt like hell" I mean it feels like my ribs are about to rip apart. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's Tietze Syndrome due to the severity of pain and length of time I've been suffering from it. But anyway, almost done with coupage!

7. I added an extra pillow to my bed so now I have four instead of three. As I build little forts out of pillows to sleep in this has made a giant impact on my sleeping happiness. Stop judging me.

8. War of the Roses. This is a fabulous little radio bit that The Buzz does every Wednesday morning. Pretty much when a girl thinks a guy is cheating, Afentra calls the guy and pretends to be a florist giving away roses and we see who the guy sends them to. If you know me, you know I hide from awkward situations. So throughout the bit I'll flip back and forth between radio stations because I get so uncomfortable. But it's amazing. Yes, I am entertained by people's tragic relationships. Stop pretending that you aren't.

Secrets Secrets

Hint: You can get more Postsecrets every week by being their Myspace friend.

Photo Parade

A little taste of what my life has been like lately as told by photos:

New Year's Eve was Boring. You can tell this by the glee on our faces. Actually, the only high point of the evening was the sushi. For some reason I gave our waitress a horrible tip. I never give bad tips. Maybe I should go back and give her more money.











Miss Bella became quite ill with pneumonia recently. This included a long night of running out of paper towels and going through every towel in my house trying to clean up her vomit. Yeah, I probably wouldn't do this for anyone but my dog. See that towel on my bed? She missed and vomited in my sheets. You can tell she has started to feel better by the pile of toys that's accumulating in the middle of my floor. I've learned that she is not amused by my camera's macro feature. Don't mess with Bella, she'll bite yo face.


And finally I have to give thanks to T for my fabulous new Vera Post-it book. I've been jotting down notes for new blogs in it while stopped in rush hour traffic. So efficient. Note the three different sizes of post-its! Thanks, Boo!

I Could Take Em

I heard about this website on The Church of Lazlo and had to go find out how many five year olds I could take in a fight...

18

Yeah, I'm such a hardass. This number would be much lower if my moral compass was much higher.

How many can you take?

Oh no!

Is Blogger not the "in" place to have your blog hosted? Is Tumblr where all the cool kids are hosted these days?

Damn it. I'm just not hipster enough.

Want Some Cake?

My Cake Decorating text book came in last night! Like a good little student I dilligently read the first chapter. This is where I learned that I will have to buy lots of expensive cake equipment if I want to be serious about this decorating thing. And by lots of equipment I mean I don't know how I'll fit it all in my kitchen...

Due to my obvious money shortage this month I will have to wait to start accumulating my tools. But get excited, I'm going to start with piping!

By the way, I was serious about the stand mixer thing. I want this one:

Professional 5 Plus Series in Metallic Chrome

Frustrations

I work for a non-profit. I have a mortgage and lots of bills. But I manage to get by every month. I'm doing ok. I've been really frugal this winter and haven't went shopping once. NOT ONCE!

So this weekend I decided to treat myself and go buy some new clothes so I don't look like such a sloppy mess all of the time. So Saturday morning I went and got quite a few things on sale. I didn't buy anything full price, but I did spend a chunk of change.

I get home from shopping, throw my bags down, and check my mail. Ta-da, it's my gas bill. Um... it's the largest gas bill I've ever seen. $300!?!?! What? I'm pissed and I immediately turn down the heat and stomp around my house looking for ways to better insulate everything. This is what I get for wanting a cute old house that turned out to be drafty as Hell.

Later in the day I'm walking my dog and she starts blowing horrible, hideous, disgusting, yellow-green, thick mucus out of her nose. She follows this up with strange coughing/choking noises. Uh, not good. I make a vet appointment for Sunday.

Let's just say that Saturday was a horrible night and leave the details for another post.

Sunday, the vet tells me that Bella has pneumonia. She is put on an IV and spends all of Sunday and Monday getting meds pumped into her. I pay about $500 for Bella's life.

So, there goes almost an entire paycheck in one weekend and I still have new bills coming in daily. Please no one ask me to do anything this month because I'll be living off stale old crackers and driving as little as possible to conserve gas.

Damn it.

Today in History

I've been sitting at work constantly updating CNN.com when the headline finally read that Barack Obama has been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Unexpectedly I started to tear up and had to force myself to take deep breaths as not to start crying in the middle of my office.

I know he is just one man. I know he's not a savior and that he will make mistakes. I know I won't always agree with his decisions. But, I truly believe in him.

Today is a good day.

A quote that made me happy:

"Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Obama could Run. Obama Ran so our children could fly."

I am happy and worried.

Pretty Cakes

After a bit of research on the interweb I decided to buy a cake decorating textbook. I don't have the 20k for pastry school, but maybe I can teach myself a few things. My motivation to actually use the book will be the ridiculous price I paid for it.

Look forward to some interesting creations!


PS. I know one of you wants to gift me with a stand mixer....

Enjoy This Blog

I'm always looking for fun blogs to waste my time with. I've just been adding them to the "My Reads" section. But, this one deserves special recognition.

For my girls that love the fail (or "fial" in Cakewreck language):

http://www.failblog.org/

Still Funny

Enjoy one of my favorite things.

The Unspoken Critique

I was speaking to my good friend M this weekend and we hit upon a topic that got me thinking. As girls we are very hesitant to ever divulge our true feelings about our friends' significant others. You never want to be the one to say,"dump him" or "he's not good enough for you." If you do, that friend probably won't take your advice and then there will be this awkwardness between the two of you and you'll regret opening your trap.

This seems to be something that has been instilled in women from an early age. I know I've very rarely gotten a friend's true feeling about a boyfriend until I'm out of the relationship.

I've seen my friends date a lot of different guys, and even marry a few of them. I often think that they're settling for less than they deserve. But true to girl code, I never speak up. So here's a post for my girlfriends. This is what I think of your current man or have thought of your past men. If you think one is about you, it probably is. If you're offended by one, it probably isn't about you....

• You're more attractive than him
• He has short man syndrome
• You seem to take all of the chances and make all of the sacrifices while he makes none
• I heard he cheated on you
• I heard you cheated on him
• You're unique, he isn't
• His friends are pretentious
• He's an alcoholic
• It's called emotional abuse. Abuse doesn't always mean physical violence
• You're perfect as you are and anyone that tells you to lose weight is a fool
• He's not funny
• He doesn't think I'm funny
• He's using you
• Please don't marry him just because you want a wedding
• You're not as interesting around him. Are you dumbing yourself down for him? Stop. Stop now.
• Stop letting him tell you how to do your hair
• You don't really love him
• Did I mention that you're much more attractive than he is?
• He isn't nice to your friends
• He'll never go anywhere
• Your codependence scares me
• He doesn't give you butterflies
• He doesn't challenge you

You can do better.

Much love to my friends. Now you know what I really think. Someday I'll follow my own advice.

Secrets

Happy 2009, Bitches

Apparently now is the time of year when I'm supposed to be making all of these resolutions for 2009. I was thinking about this today and trying to come up with some interesting ones so I could blog about them. This was mostly because I have no content here yet and I don't really want to link people to a site full of nothing. So I was really trying to think of something meaningful.

Then I realized that I'm just not your resolutions type of girl. When I decide to do something I just do it. I don't need this extra step of writing my goals out out before I start. Extra steps annoy me.

So friends, I apologize that I won't be providing you with a sappy little list of my dreams and aspirations. Instead, enjoy this list of some of my spot on decisions from 2008:

1. Decided to buy a house. Bought a fantastic little number just for me and my Bella.

2. Realized that I was unhappy and had been for about two years. Promptly removed myself from soul sucking meaningless relationship and found nearly instant happiness.

3. Saw a friend run 13.1 miles. Got inspired and proved to myself that I could as well.

4. Dreamed of pastry school so I took a culinary class to wet my feet. Not bad, not bad at all.

5. Recognized that my hang ups were causing my family pain. Renegotiated my definition of family and attempted to roll with the punches. Even though those punches included two identical little people full of energy and annoyances.

6. Continued my commitment to friendship by spending money I didn't have on trips to see my lovely soulmates. Always a good decision.

That's right, I win

For the second year in a row Kansas City has been ranked the worst city for dating. That's right. The absolute worst.

If anyone is interested I hear a fabulous little bungalow might be going up for sale in Fairway...

http://realestate.yahoo.com/neighborhoods/best_and_worst_cities_for_dating.html

Mating Calls

Alright boys, I'll give you a pointer. It is not ok to ask a girl that you're only sort of dating over to hang out when you're already roaring drunk. It's especially not ok if you follow that invite up with, "Let's get naked."

Wrong. That means you're officially off the team. It also means that I'll tell my friends and we'll laugh at you.

I've Got A Secret

Pretty much the only positive thing about coming to work every Monday is knowing that I'll get to see the new entries on PostSecret. For awhile now I've been saving up secrets that: a. Are also my secrets; or b. Strike some sort of nerve.

Enjoy an old secret that I particularly enjoy and look for more in the future.

Welcome

So I've finally decided to start my own little blog. Hopefully I'll be able to both amuse and offend. Please don't take me seriously.

I've included links to my friends' (and sort of friends) blogs. If yours is listed and you want it removed, tell me. If you are a friend and have a blog that I don't know of, tell me and I'll post it. But if you fall in this second category know that I'm already pissed that you haven't shared your blog with me before now.

Let's get started.

- J